soul prison

many lives ago, 

I witnessed a burial for myself. 

barren soil, barren heart

there remained nothing but 

the faint pulse of absence

beating against grain

in the dirt’s womb, 

I took no food. 

lying perfectly still, perfectly pale

a husk-like, hollow ghost. 

at sundown, 

the soil dwellers crept in 

with knives in hand 

digging and scratching

scratching and digging 

until they reached bone

no more flesh, 

no more pain. 

I was a star in the night sky

but I left my entrails behind in a knot

years passed,

the land split itself 

into a fault line that traced 

the scar of where I once lay 

monsoon arrived 

with a single drop of rain

it caressed my skull

and a quaint flower emerged

from my third eye

I turned my petals 

this way and that

to drift softly 

in the balmy wind 

I turned my leaves up

up, up, and up 

to face 

a sliver of heaven 

I twisted my longing 

into my roots and

hid them in a chasm 

where no God 

would think to look

changing and unchanging

the seasons passed 

but the rain never fell 

and the trees bore no fruit 

I tightened my grip 

on the world 

and reached downwards 

to touch its core 

standing tall above, 

cowering below 

thorns splintered, 

roots shriveled 

time came to a standstill

its frames swaying backwards 

and forwards 

one day, the cadaver of a woman 

another, the corpse of a flower 

I wished only to escape

from the depths of 

a soul prison that 

repeated in unison 

learn, defy, relearn

suffer, defy, speak 

unlearn, defy, 

live 

it is a cycle that 

is constantly pressing 

upon my neck

choking my senses,

and bleeding me dry

it connects 

repeats 

and continues 

I raise my head 

to the ether and ask

was there ever 

a better time

or just

dissonance?

surrender, surrender!

the earth finally spoke 

and a fruit fell

from the sky.